And God created the human in his image,
In the image of God, he created him,
Male and female, he created them.
Let’s talk about pronouns. Everybody has them and in most languages, everything has them as well. English is a bit of an anomaly in that regard, and perhaps that is part of the current kerfuffle we have in our public dialogue around trans identity and pronouns. Just look at the above translation from Hebrew: “the human” (singular) refers to all of us, and “he created him” in the next phrase is, in the words of the translator, “grammatically but not anatomically masculine.” Despite various and sundry claims like “there are no pronouns in the bible” or “God doesn’t have pronouns” the simple claim by God to Moses “...I am” put that to rest.
But the question is not really about whether God has pronouns, or if pronouns exist. The question is about identity. Should we, as people of faith, allow or encourage others to wrestle with, question, or even change their gender identity?
Now, I, of course, recognize that in our particular community at Memorial, the answer to this is almost universally yes. Even in the broader Episcopal Church, there is broad support for trans rights. But in all of our larger circles, there are people, good Christian people, who are really reluctant to support anything associated with trans rights.
To those friends and loved ones, I would say that when confronted with difficult, uncomfortable situations we should take our cues from Jesus and from scripture. We should be curious, open-minded, clear in our faith, and clearer in our love.
In that spirit I offer three reflections on Compassion, Reflection and Grace.
First, Compassion: it is painful, mentally and physically, to transition. It is not a decision anyone makes quickly or easily. A first step for us is acknowledging how stressful and painful this time must be, and reminding your friends, neighbors, loved ones that you love them and care for them, no matter what. Jesus tells the prodigal son story for a reason, we should never abandon family.
Second, Reflection: We worship a God that we identify as one and yet three. A God that was at once earthly man, heavenly deity, and ethereal spirit. We serve a God that has identified as God, Jesus, Male and Female, and sometimes just “I AM.” As Christians we have been arguing for thousands of years about how exactly we can describe and explain God to each other, so perhaps we should offer a little understanding to those people seeking to understand how God has made them. What aspects of your own identity have you struggled with? Your profession? Calling? Hairstyle? Clothing? Instead of being judge mental let’s reflect on our own struggles and ask how we can support others in theirs.
Finally, Grace: You don’t have to be okay with someone’s choices to be okay with them. I still love the Yankees fans in my life. If someone asks you to use a different set of pronouns, or to call them by a different name, or to accept them as a different gender, that does not require you to change your fundamental beliefs or your understanding of God. It just requires showing enough respect for the people you love to trust their beliefs.
There is a lot of anger out in the world right now. At beer companies and clothing stores and at faces we see online. But as Christians, we should remember that none of those things really matter. What matters is the relationship we have with God and with God’s people in the world, you, me, and all of us. And if we begin those relationships, no matter how fraught, with compassion, reflection, and grace, we will do much, much better.