Jesse Milan, Jr. JD is president & CEO of AIDS United, a national organization focused on ending the HIV epidemic in the United States. He and his husband, Bill Roberts, live in Ellicott City. They pass many other churches along the way to make Memorial their parish home.
“So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.” (Philemon 1:17)
Welcoming and breaking bread with the stranger is a theme Memorial is exploring this year. I’ve been asked as chair of our Worship Committee to write on that theme for this week’s e-news message to you. This is my first epistle in this role, and I’m moved to do my best to emulate Paul, the author of this week’s Epistle to the church in Philemon (verses 1-21). In his letter, Paul urged Thomas to welcome Onesimus, a man Paul mentored as a son and who would soon arrive as a stranger in Thomas’ territory by saying, “So if you consider me your partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.”
I’m not Paul, but I do think of myself as a long-time partner with you in many ministries. I’ve served as your Senior Warden, as director and choreographer of our musicals, I’ve served in diocesan roles, and in my monthly reoccurring role as an usher. These all started for me some 24 years ago when I was a stranger at Memorial.
In my first visit to Memorial, I sat in an aisle seat. During the recessional hymn, the late Barbara Swain, a member of our choir gave to me as she marched by the most welcoming and radiant smile I had ever received from anyone in church. She even winked at me. I knew in my heart I was being welcomed to Memorial.
I came back the next week. And I’m still here.
Some twenty years later, while walking on the street near my office in DC, I heard a voice call out my name. Jesse! It was Barbara’s son Ben, a life-long member of Memorial who I have known since he was about 10. There among strangers on a DC street, Ben opened his arms and gave me a great big hug. He is truly Barbara’s son, but he is a son of Memorial as well.
Memorial is ready to smile or wink at, or open our arms to any and every stranger who might come through our door --- be they “joining us for the first time, or for the first time in a long time” (the welcoming line of our sojourning Rector who is off on month two of his three-month sabbatical). But the smiling or winking, and in the COVID pandemic our virtual or socially distant hugging do not and should not have to be done only by the Senior Warden, the usher, the priest or deacon, or by anyone with an assigned Sunday role. They can be done by you.
At a service last month, I watched from my usher’s perch in the back of the church as a Memorial member stepped into an adjacent row to help a visitor find the correct hymnal to use. My heart sang as I watched that stranger return that gesture with a smile of gratitude. That welcoming gesture might be the first step towards that visitor/stranger coming back and joining our flock.
This Sunday we celebrate our annual Homecoming service --- the traditional start of our new program year at Memorial. We named it Homecoming Sunday because we welcome back all who have been away for the summer, and all who might be returning from their sojourns to other places, other churches, or other Sunday pursuits. This year we welcome back also all returning to church from their pandemic routines.
But this Sunday and every Sunday, we welcome especially to our parish home anyone who is new to Memorial’s doors.
Who will be their welcomer? It does not matter who. My wish and my prayer are that the welcomer is you.
Please welcome him, or her, or they as a partner as you would welcome me. They might arrive on any given Sunday. And when they do, I know from my own first weeks as a stranger at Memorial, that a smile or a wink might be all it takes to make someone new feel that Memorial can be their home.
Amen.
P.S. I can still see Barbara’s smile.